"Oh remember, remember . . . I urge you to find ways to recognize and remember God's kindness."

President Henry B. Eyring

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

You Can't Get There From Here

My daughter lived in Maine and she warned me if I stopped for driving directions while visiting, this is what I would most likely hear: "You can't get there from here." (That's because the roads were originally cow or Indian paths) It's a phrase you hear a lot in New England because they joke about it and apply it to everyday life. It has application in this story I love:

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

I love this story because it has so many applications in overcoming adversity, but it also has a practical application for life in general. When I hear people say, "You can't get there from here" I think well, it just means you can't do it THAT way.

A dear friend once told me that I could take $10 and make it look like $100. That's because I've been a donkey down a well so many times. I've also been told I'm creative, innovative, tenacious, determined, stubborn, and on occasion I've even been told I'm like this determined animal, when a matador waves that red flag at him!

Monday, November 19, 2012

"Trouble With The Curve"

We went to a movie Friday night. Ron was excited to see the baseball movie "Trouble With The Curve" starring Clint Eastwood. He was ready for an action flick that would "make his day." The movie was about baseball, but more than that it was about a young woman's relationship with her aging father.

I listened quietly while he voiced his disappointment at the crass language, and how slow the movie was, but he was surprised and taken aback by my reaction. I was mad. Really mad. I haven't felt that mad for a LONG time. Like Ron, I wanted action, but not pretend action. I REALLY wanted to punch someone. Specifically MY parents. You see I AM "Mickey" the daughter played by Amy Adams.

Mickey felt abandoned by her father Gus (Clint Eastwood) who sent her away at the age of six to live with an uncle she barely knew after her mother died. Then later he sent her to a boarding school, when all she ever wanted was to be with him, and to please him. What really made my blood boil was the fact that Mickey's father would NOT talk to her. No explanationno reasonhe just wouldn't talk.

To be abandoned is a terrible thing. It takes away a HUGH piece of who you are, not just as a child, but for the rest of your life. The worst thing is the feeling of not being loved. How do you ever trust, how do you ever really know you are loved, when the people who gave you birth just throw you away seemingly without a look back. Yeah, that's me.

The movie had a sweet ending. Gus finally opened up and let Mickey inlet her understand WHY! 

I met my father on only three occasions in my adult life before he died, and the last time he actually came to my home.  When I asked why, he freely explained some thingsgave me a chance to see his perspectiveto understand and begin to forgive. When I hit forty, during my mid-life crisis, I called my mother asking for the same thing from her. I just wanted to know what happened. I needed to understand WHY? She called me a liar and hung up the phone. I sank to the floor shaking and crying. From that moment I quit trying to have a relationship. In my heart I wantedI NEEDED her to come to me, to call backto talk to me! She never did. I learned to live with the fact that my parents truly didn't love me. 

If Ron was stunned at my reaction to this movie, I was even more so, because I truly believed that I had forgiven them. I went to bed Friday night very troubled.

Then I had a dream.

Oh, how I wish I'd had a pencil and paper on my nightstand like Elder Scott has counciled us so many times. I didn't, and I was too sleepy to go find one so I don't remember details, but I KNOW I felt the sweet, sweet spirit fill my heart. I awoke with peace, a feeling of being loved, and a phrase from Isaiah running in my head:

Isaiah 49:15  Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.

 16 Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands . . .

Now, as I write, I realize that my anger is a stage of grief. I know about grief! I haven't stopped grieving over the loss of my parents love, but I have forgiven them! In spite of it all, I have had a great life. I have a wonderful husband, wonderful children, and I have ALWAYS had the Lord's love.

He NEVER forgot me! And that is enough!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Wonderful Wardles

All this busy day, while I have been shopping for Webelos craft supplies, (yes Ron and I were called as Webelos leaders in our new ward), I have been thinking of the wonderful Wardles. Darla and Robert have been our dear friends for thirty years, and all through those years we and three of our children have remained the best of friends, even though we only lived next door to them for six of those years.

We were privileged and blessed to live in their basement apartment this summer while our home was being built. We felt surrounded by complete safety and love! I can't imagine heaven will be any different than being surrounded by and associating with, such wonderful friends!

Thank you and God Bless you dear friends!