Happiness/Gratitude

I really like this quote, because I believe it with all my heart!

"Happiness...does not depend on obtaining all the desires of our hearts. In large measure, happiness depends on our ability to feel gratitude for the abundance we already have." Carolyn Wright, Tambuli, Nov 1994, 11

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Ultimate Career

I love this quote by C.S. Lewis!

"The homemaker has the ultimate career. All careers exist for one purpose only and that is to support the ultimate career."

It made me feel so good about myself this morning I cleaned a room that has been waiting for me for awhile! :)

What Did Jesus Look Like?

I've always longed to see the face of Jesus. To know what he looks like, but more to feel and experience his love. On Donna's blog "Connections" she shares descriptions of Jesus Christ from ancient records that have been translated. If you follow the link you can read Donna's full account. But, here is Gamaliel's interview with Joseph and Mary.

"I found Joseph and Mary in the land of Mecca. ...Joseph is a wood-workman. He is very tall. His hair looks as though it might have been dark auburn when young. His eyes are grey, Jesus, He is the picture of his mother, only He has not her smooth, round face. His hair is a little more golden than hers, though it is as much from sunburn as anything else. He is tall. His visage is thin and of a swarthy complexion, though this is from exposure. His eyes are large and soft blue, the lashes are long and his eyebrows are large."

Grandpa

We were so lucky to have our little Philadelphia grandkids here for a week! They had so much fun with their cousins. We miss them so much, and it was so fun to have them home, if just for a brief visit. I just had to post their adorable picture with Grandpa. I have to say that my Ron has to be the greatest Grandpa in the world! He is so awesome, and all of our beautiful grandchildren will agree!

Both Ends Of The Stick

When you pick up one end of a stick, the other end always comes with it. This phrase has been going through my mind constantly the last few days. I believe it is something that Brigham Young said, and it means: we are free to choose anything, but we are not free to choose the consequences of our choices. I also think of the scripture in D&C 130:20, 21 which states: "There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated . . . And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated."

Thank heavens for the atonement. I love our Savior for his sacrifice on our behalf. Only He can unravel the complexities of our life! And for that, and for Him I am so grateful!

From Grandpa's Jungle to Grandma's Kitchen

I Will Tell You In Your Mind and In Your Heart

I read a wonderful article, "Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence" by Elder Holland that I haven't read in a long time. It was a good reminder about personal revelation. We all know the formula for receiving personal revelation taught in Doctrine and Covenants section 8 and 9. Elder Holland quoted it and then added his thoughts: "I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart. [I love the combination there of both mind and heart. God will teach us in a reasonable way and in a revelatory way--mind and heart combined, by the Holy Ghost.]"

The message of his talk is this: once we know we have received confirmation from the spirit of the Lord to do something, or that something is right, then, we can always, always count on Satan to come and muddy the waters so to speak. He will try to keep us from acting on that knowledge, by having us question ourselves, did I really feel that . . . etc. etc. etc., or by tempting us away with his endless enticements and arguments tailored precisely for each of us.

It was such a good reminder to me to have the courage to stay the course, to act on that which I know to be true, to command Satan to get behind me, and that Heavenly Father will ALWAYS provide the way to do the things he asks of us.

I love the first scripture verse I ever memorized, and it has been a light in the darkness for me all these years. 1Nephi 3:7 "And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."

The Greatest Joy of My Life

Out of respect for their privacy I try not to post much about my children, but I wanted it to be known that the greatest privilege of my life has been to be a mother and now a grandmother! I have the most beautiful grandchildren and wonderful children whom I live for and love with all of my heart! I would give my life for each and everyone of them. I am blessed!

Having Faith In The Coming Days

I just read an article by G.G. Vandagriff, in Meridian Magazine this morning that certainly caught my attention. She wrote:

"In a recent talk broadcast to the stakes in Utah Valley, President Boyd K. Packer and Elder Jeffrey R. Holland had a special message for us. Elder Holland started by talking of the faith of the pioneers to do whatever they were asked. In a stirring narrative of the pioneers who dug out a pathway through the sheer rock passageway in south central Utah in order to fulfill their mission to colonize a particular area, he gave us an example of what he called "rock-ribbed" faith. "When you're called to go, you go."

Elder Holland pleaded with us to nurture our physical and spiritual strength for the trials ahead. "Search your soul and search the heavens," he said. "Remember that strong family ties are the strongest resource of the church." In conclusion, he reminded us that though the world was steeped in wickedness, the forces of righteousness will always prevail. In order to stay within the safety provided by those forces, we need to be willing to conform our will to that of the Father, just as the pioneers did.

When President Packer began to speak, he startled me to the soles of my feet by saying, "From now on it's going to be rougher than the pioneers had it." Though he and Elder Holland had not planned it, their talks built on each other, proving to me that they were inspired by the Spirit to give us the same message. "Easy times are in the past," he said. "Humbly confess to the Lord that you will do things His way. The days of the Hole in the Rock were easy times compared to what faces you."

These were very sobering talks, completely unlike a normal Stake Conference. The message that things are only going to get worse is not one you usually hear from the Brethren."

Wow! It got my attention!

Stacks of Doilies

I was driving by a cemetery today while a funeral was taking place. The tent. The friends and family. All dressed in black, milling around, and I felt sad to see them. Then I saw the pallbearers carrying the casket toward them. The wave of pain hit me harder than it has in a very long time!

I had to come home and crochet furiously. That is how I got through the grief of Robert, and the pain of open-heart surgery for years. It's ridiculous, the stacks of doilies I have.

Darla Isackson

Almost a year ago I read an article in Meridian Magazine by Darla Isackson, in which she mentioned that she had lost her son to suicide. I have often read articles by Darla and I am always moved buy her depth of love for the Lord, her desire to improve her life, and her deep desire to share her knowledge with the rest of us. This article moved me to email her and thank her.

She graciously wrote back, and we began an extensive correspondence that blossomed into a great friendship. Darla expressed her promptings to write a book about her experiences since the death of her son, and she began sending chapters for my input and impressions. Her words of wisdom and comfort have touched and helped me more than I can say during my own ongoing process of grief since my son's death eleven years ago.

Darla has also been so kind about my blog. She continues to tell me it's beautiful and that I am a good writer. (She even ordered my out of print book, "Joy Outweighs The Sorrow" from Amazon and told me how much she enjoyed it.) I haven't even been able to think of myself as a writer for the last decade. It stunned me in fact when Darla said, "you are a writer, and writer's need to write." I didn't write anything, except emails to my children, for eight years after Robert's death.

I must say that in the beginning of our correspondence I was at first intimidated, then amazed, and then gratified by her encouragement, since "Darla has been on the Continuing Education speaker's circuit for BYU. . . In 1988 she pioneered the book division for Covenant Communications and was their Managing Editor for four years. She later served as Managing Editor for Aspen Books. Darla has edited well over two hundred uplifting books in her interesting career--shepherding them successfully from manuscript to bookstore shelves. She has presented at writer’s workshops in three states. Since 1998 she has free-lanced at home, editing and ghost-writing many books and caring for her elderly mother until she passed away. She has written a bi-monthly column for Meridian Magazine online since 2002." (Quoted from her website)

Two weeks ago Darla invited myself and three other women, who also helped with feedback on her book, to her home for lunch where she presented us each with a copy of her book. She included comments from each of us on the back cover of her book, and quoted us in various places in the book. (What an honor!) I found her to be just as warm and loving as she is while expressing her testimony in all of her writings. She has become a "bosom friend" to quote Anne of Green Gables!

Please check out Darla's website, where you may order this wonderful book if you know of someone that could use the wisdom and comfort she gives to those who are faced with this terrible tragedy in their life.

He Does Pour Out His Spirit if We Have Eyes to See!

Last week something came up that had me thinking about Debbie Garcia. I served with her in the Primary Presidency way back when I only had two tiny babies and we were living in San Diego, California in the 70's. It was my first church service in a presidency. She was amazing. When the Bishop called me he said that she was a very spiritual person, and that he trusted her completely. He said he would give her ANYONE she ever asked him for, to serve in the primary, because he knew she would know the Lords will in the matter first. He said that if she asked for the Stake Relief Society President to be Sunbeam Teacher he would request it from the Stake.

While we only lived in that ward for about a year, as a presidency, we had the opportunity to call several new teachers. The Bishop told me I would have an extraordinary experience working with her and he was right! We would go over the list of ward members and come up with a few names, then she sent us home to pray about them. If we didn't ALL have the same name, she would send us home again to pray. Not until we ALL felt right about it would we ask for that person, and the Bishop would always approve it because of his confidence in Sister Garcia. When Debbie prayed I would often peek, just to see if I could see the Lord standing in the room. The next time I served in a Presidency was such a letdown, I thought this was just standard operating procedure for every organization in the church. Don't get me wrong, I loved the women I served with, but I could never help them understand what it had been like with Sister Garcia. It's sad that through the years, I have never had quite the same united, sacred experience while working with others in a calling.

The children adored her. It was back in the days (you know when we walked ten miles to school in terrible blizzards :) and when we had primary during the week. I have never experienced reverence like she generated, before or since. You could hear a pin drop in our opening exercises. She taught the children that Jesus would be with them if He could feel their love by their reverence. He was! That chapel had a holy feeling that I've only experienced since in the temple! The children loved her so much they wanted to be near her or just touch her. In the foyer she would greet them and I can still see her cup their little faces in her hands, and see the love shining in her eyes and in theirs, because she truly had "His image" in her countenance! When I remember this I always think it had to be very much like it was when the Lord greeted each child of the Nephites!

Later when I read of how the twelve apostles conduct their business, I was amazed because I truly had experienced the same thing in an ordinary ward primary! It reminds me of this scripture:

Numbers 11:29 "And Moses said unto him, Enviest thou for my sake? would God that all the Lord's people were prophets, and that the Lord would put his spirit upon them!"

And, we are living in a day when we are witnessing this prophecy:

Joel 2:28, 29 "And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions. And also upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit!"

In other words even the lowly, those who do not hold high position, can receive the spirit in greater abundance than we ask for and expect to receive! As I remembered my experiences with Debbie Garcia, I thought about my own current calling. I'm one of three gospel doctrine teachers for the adults in our ward, and I do pray about my calling, but this week, because of Sister Garcia's example I prayed more earnestly. I had intended to have a class member review the story of Elijah passing his mantle on to Elisha to be the next prophet. I tried to think of people who haven't had as much opportunity to participate, but didn't feel right about any of them when suddenly our new Bishop's name popped into my head. Of course, he has just received the new mantle of Bishop. I felt the spirit of confirmation wash over me so completely. (I must admit to feeling surprised that it could come so strongly over something so simple.) So I immediately called him on the phone and got his answering machine. I left the message but didn't hear back from him. I tried his number several more times with the same result. Then I became worried that he was still out of town, so I asked my sweet husband to review the material and be prepared to give it. I worried about the experience I'd just had, I questioned my ability to receive inspiration, but hoped for the best.

Then on Sunday the Bishop was there and willingly accepted my invitation and shared the story, his testimony and feelings, and then his testimony and witness of watching President Hinckley (who is his uncle) personally as a man, and then with the mantle of prophet! It was so powerful! It was wonderful! It was a witness to little ole' obscure me, that God does hear and care about even the smallest details of our lives and of our callings. I knew this before, but what a wonderful reminder! And, what a wonderful reminder that we all really do need to reach higher, and ask for and expect greater direction and power in every aspect of our lives and callings!

2 Kings 6:16-17 "And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them. And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And and the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw; and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha."

Lord let me have eyes to see, ears to hear, and use my mouth and heart more earnestly to ASK!

When A Migraine Is Good News!

I feel as though I was given my life back. Last week after another in a bazillion episodes of TIA symptoms Ron put his foot down and took me to the emergency room at University Hospital. They kept me over night for observation and tests, and determined that I was having an aberrant form of silent migraine (without the pain) which totally mimics stroke symptoms. They have put me on an anti-seizure medication which should stop the cycle.

I've been on the medication about a week and I have to say that I feel good! My mind is so clear, almost like someone who gets glasses for the first time and realizes that a leaf on a tree has veins in it. My biggest problem right now is deciding what to do with the rest of my life! I know I've spent the last decade (literally) waiting for a big stroke to kill me. When the symptoms happened they were really frightening!

Migraines sound so manageable compared to a stroke. I'm realizing (though no one can be certain when their time on earth is up) that I can probably see my grandchildren grow, go on a mission with my husband, and though I'd never want to be a burden, I may even be a really old lady for my kids to take care of!

Good Memories!

We had a swimming pool in our backyard for 17 years. A lot of good memories were made there and it was sad to take it down, but no one used it much, it needed a new liner and Ron and I are not getting any younger. So sadly it was time, but it feels like we said goodbye to a really good friend that we will never see again, one who has been so much a part of our lives!

Casyn Joseph

Casyn was one week old yesterday! I can't wait to hold him and my darling Aubrie, who is a proud big sister! I'm so proud of my Julie and her good husband Brent! They sure make beautiful babies, and are such wonderful parents! Lucky kids!

New Baby

Little Casyn Joseph was born this morning. Julie and baby are fine now but had a really rough twenty hour labor. We nearly lost both Julie and the baby, but through a priesthood blessing they are both well and healthy! I'll post pictures as soon as I get some, but for now that little family is pretty worn out. Aubrie is in love with her new little baby brother! I can't wait to see pics. I'm just so sad that I am not back there taking care of them! We decided that I cannot fly alone and it breaks my heart. Ron and I will go back for his blessing in August. Oh my arms and heart ache to hold him and take care of my Jules!

Lost Generation

I know it's been awhile since I've posted---what can I say, it's summer, and I've got dirt in my fingernails!!!!!! But, my flowers are blooming. (I've also had some more health challenges, but life goes on---especially in my garden!)

My friend emailed this video and it is amazing.

A palindrome reads the same backwards as forward.

This video reads the exact opposite backwards as forward.

Not only does it read the opposite, the meaning is the exact opposite.

This is only a 1 minute, 44 second video and it is brilliant!

Make sure you read as well as listen...forward and backward.

This is a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20-year old.

The contest was titled "u @ 50" by AARP. This video won second place.

When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke

into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so brilliant.

Take a minute and watch it.

Mother's Day!

I had the most awesome mother's day! My son Brian spoke in church and invited me to his ward--it was so good. Just perfect, and yes I'm prejudiced, but it was good! Then after church he grilled yummy steaks for us! Gwen repeated her first talk (afterward accompanied by hugs and kisses) after dinner. Notice the stick with paper leaves and a gummy bear--that was from Luke at church. It used to have a flower cookie on it, but before church was over it magically disappeared!

I talked with all of my wonderful children! Kristi sent gorgeous flowers and a funny card. Julie sent a wonderful card that made me cry happy tears. Aubrie made me a little picture book of herself of course. Becky gave me flowers for my porch and a love note! Ron also gave me a card that made me cry happy! And, Judith even drove all the way from South Weber (even while enduring a kidney stone) for a short visit with a darling pillow and "special grandparents" tile! It was a perfect day because I felt very loved by all my children and their wonderful spouses!

I just read an interesting article: "A Mom's Voice Is Powerful Medicine" Next time you feel anxious and tense, like a knot of nerves, instead of scheduling a massage or some time in the sun, you might want to call your mom. A mother's voice has the power to settle jangled nerves and maybe even reach through the fog of a coma to bring a brain-injured patient back to consciousness, according to a pair of new experiments.

I love you all! Please call often so I can love, love, love you!!!!!!

When I Drive Up To The Pearly Gates

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing my neighbor's lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with the children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

~Marjorie Pay Hinckley ~

I don't doubt that she did just that! That's exactly what I want to do.

Missing Funny Bone

I think when the Lord created me he forgot to install a funny bone. I wish I could have more humor. I know many delightful people that have the ability to laugh at themselves and see humor everywhere in almost any situation. At least I smile a lot! I am basically a happy person and I know how to laugh, I just don't know how to be funny. Do you think humor is something that we can acquire? And if so how?

The Third Floor

As I was getting on the elevator on the first floor this morning at the temple, I shared the ride with one of our older temple workers, a man in his mid to late eighties, who graciously ushered me on first and then asked if I was going up or down. I said I was going up and he said that he was going down, but that he felt he was almost ready to go to the third floor.

I looked at him thinking he was a little confused, and I said, "But the second floor is as high as our temple goes." He lifted his stooped shoulders a little higher and grinned up at me with his beautiful wrinkled face and chuckled, "Well, I'm aiming for much higher, but I suppose I'll have to start on the third floor!"

I laughed with him as I got his joke, and I've thought about his comment most of today. This wonderful righteous man really is ready to go "to the third floor" anytime the Lord calls him home! I thought about "going home" today as I helped with the funeral luncheon for my neighbor's mother who peacefully slipped away Tuesday night. She was a darling little woman with ahlziemer's, who my neighbor and dear friend lovingly brought to her home, and tenderly cared for with such love these last few years.

Debbie posted this on her facebook page: "My mom woke up yesterday evening and we had a delightful time talking to her about all the people she was seeing who had come to "take her home.". She didn't want to be in her jammies with all of them here so we got her all dressed and combed her hair, etc."

Another time when the doorbell rang, her Mom said, "Oh good, maybe they are here to take me home," and she wanted Debbie to help her pack her bags. I thought about Sister Pierce today and smiled to think she wasn't just put on an elevator, but was lovingly escorted to the "third floor" by so many people that love her!

"And it shall come to pass that those that die in me shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them." D&C 42:46

Back In Time

1906 San Francisco Street Car film - AMAZING
This is really a fascinating piece of history. Traffic seems willy nilly, trolleys, cars, horses, carts, people walking. Seems they all just go wherever there is an opening. The clothing and cars are really interesting.Here's a neat opportunity to enjoy some time travel. The film is from a streetcar traveling down Market Street in San Francisco , four days before the big earthquake/fire that destroyed the area. You can clearly see the clocktower at the end of the street at the Embarcadero Wharf that's still there. The quality & detail is great, so be sure to view it full screen.

The film, was originally thought to be from 1905 until David Kiehn with the Niles Essanay Silent Film Museum figured out exactly when it was shot. From New York trade papers announcing the film showing to the wet streets from recent heavy rainfall & shadows indicating time of year & actual weather and conditions on historical record, even when the cars were registered (he even knows who owned them and when the plates were issued!). It was filmed only four days before the quake and shipped by train to NY for processing. Amazing but true!

Embrace This Day!

Embrace this day with an enthusiastic welcome, no matter how it looks!

Perspective

"The full cup versus empty cup is up to how we view our circumstances. And who we determine to follow!

Our ‘lot’ or ‘little’ may be dependent upon how poor or rich we observe our allotment to be. The gratitude in our souls for the road ahead of us, and the chance to walk it according to gospel truths, may determine how rich our journey seems."

(Vickey Pahnke Taylor)

She’s A Butterfly

I heard this song by Martina Mcbride on my sister’s blog, and it touched my heart in a way that few ever have. Though I thought I had a handle on it, it seems that April is still my month of mourning, but this year it has been for the loss of parents I never had. I guess you never get over that need. A lot of my friends are at the point in their lives where they are losing and mourning their parents, but they have the wonderful memories and voices of affirmation in their heads of their love and they have ties that will forever bind them to their beloved parents. I only met my father on three occasions in my adult life. The first time his face was of a complete stranger to me, and yet—he wasn’t. I still carried a memory somewhere in my little two-year old heart I guess. He took my brother and I out to dinner, and that night he gave me something I’d never had before, and never had since. It was so elusive I don’t have words for it, but it seemed that he was pleased with me, and with my life, in a way that no one else can be. I’ve never thought of it this way before but could it be akin to the look in Ron’s eyes when he talks with his darling daughters?

Do you believe that we can get messages from people on the other side of the veil? I finally downloaded this song, and I cry and cry when I hear it. I keep thinking that this is a message from my dead Daddy. (That’s what his other children call him.) It feels like he feels this way about me, and wants me to believe it! “Oh Lord, help thou my unbelief!” When I listen it seems possible! I’m going to keep listening!

(And then I found this incredible butterfly picture, with hearts! Is that a coincidence?)

Thank you Daddy!

She remembers when she first got her wings
And how she opened up the day she learned to sing
Then the colors came, erased the black and white
And her whole world changed when she realized

She's a butterfly, pretty as the crimson sky
Nothing's ever gonna bring her down

And everywhere she goes, everybody knows
She's so glad to be alive, she's a butterfly

Like the purest light in a darkened world
So much hope inside, such a lovely girl
You should see her fly, it's almost magical
It makes you wanna cry, she's so beautiful

She's a butterfly, pretty as the crimson sky
Nothing's ever gonna bring her down
And everywhere she goes, everybody knows
She's so glad to be alive, she's a butterfly

God bless the butterfly
Give her the strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground
(God bless the butterfly)

God bless the butterfly
Give her the strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground

Oh, she's a butterfly, pretty as the crimson sky
Nothing's ever gonna bring her down
And everywhere she goes, everybody knows
She's so glad to be alive, she's a butterfly
She's a butterfly, she's a butterfly

God bless the butterfly
Give her the strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground
(God bless the butterfly)

God bless the butterfly
Give her the strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground

False Evidence Appearing Real

Fear is the opposite of faith. After a tiring day teaching the multitudes Christ and his disciples departed in a ship and as Jesus slept a terrible storm began to toss the ship; fearing for their lives they woke their Lord. In Mark 4:39-40 we read, “And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm . And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?”

Too many times I find myself caught in the grip of fear and almost always it is like this acronym: false evidence appearing real. As I pondered this today I was reminded of Jacob’s words in the Book of Mormon. “Behold, my brethren, he that prophesieth, let him prophesy to the understanding of men; for the spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be. . .” (Jacob 4:13)

Things as they really are! Satan constantly presents to my mind, and everyone else who will listen, false evidence which he can make to appear very real indeed!

I found comfort today in Isaiah 61:1-4 as he prophesied of Christ with these marvelous verses: "The spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified. And they shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations.

As I read of the fulfillment of Isaiah's words in Luke 4:16-21 the spirit testified to me again that Jesus Christ lives! He did fulfill His mission! He IS the Christ! He has, again and again, bound up my broken heart—He has comforted me when I mourn, He has given me beauty (my Ron and beautiful children) for ashes (of not having parents!) He has given me joy for mourning, (when I miss my Robert) the garment of praise (when I had no earthly mother or father to tell me that I am adored or loved) for the spirit of heaviness. He has testified to me that I have been planted by the Lord where I am in this life! (It's not very clear why, but I TRUST that someday I will know!) And, He has helped me to build up the old wastes, (in my heart) and raise up the former desolations in my soul! And because I have taught the gospel to my children it is my prayer that the desolations of many generations will be repaired!

I know that God knows my heart and is merciful to those that love Him, and I love Him! And, I know the way to replace fear with faith is to always remember that “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me!” (Philippians 4:13)

Mother

I found out last night that my mother is dying and I am grieving, but not because I will miss her, but because I never had her. I haven't lived with her since I was ten years old—fifty years ago. It is hard to be the pariah of her family, but I cannot change what is. I can only be grateful that she gave me life, and through her troubled family I was exposed to the gospel! I am so grateful to have my wonderful Ron! He is my constant—the one who loves me! And, I’m grateful for my beautiful children!

I am hopeful that in the next life she will be able to see more clearly, to find a tiny piece of love for me, and to find peace and rest to her soul and to know that I forgive her. When I was little I called her Mamma. She had dark cholocate eyes, and thick beautiful dark brown hair with a hint of auburn when It caught the sun. I always wanted to have her hair instead of my golden locks and freckles. She was my sun and my moon and my stars. May God now bless and keep my Mamma!

Cover Your Mouth When Yawning In Public

As I watched someone in church today let out a big YAWN (without covering their mouth) which of course, is contagious, I couldn’t stifle my yawn—but I DID cover my mouth! I covered my mouth because whenever I yawn, I hear my high school dance teacher Virginia McDonald’s voice, “Always cover your mouth when yawning in public!” She taught her students much, much more than dance. She also taught us etiquette and poise. I was so scared of that woman, but I will never forget some of the things she taught us—she had a great influence on my life.

“Don’t speak with your mouth full. Don’t cross your legs when sitting in front of people. Stand with your shoulders straight. When in doubt follow the lead of your host or hostess. Take a gift when invited to dinner. Don’t interrupt others while having a conversation. Always say thank you, and be grateful for what you do have and don’t waste time on what you don’t, as well as many, many others!”

It made me think of all the other voices I hear in my head.

I read the book “Dave at Night” this week, by Gail Carson Levine who is the author of “Ella Enchanted.” My daughter recommended it, but warned me I would need a box of Kleenex. I actually needed two, because it’s the story of an orphan, and for me “Dave” was my father, who really did grow up in an orphanage. Orphan stories always have a common theme running through them—nobody wants them, and they are always told how worthless they are and that they will never amount to anything. Boy, do I relate. I was raised by a grandmother who was orphaned by the time she was seven. She grew up as a “poor relation” and I’m certain she was fed all those lines—which she then passed on to me! I’m amazed at how often those old negative voices still try to haunt me, but we don’t have to be an orphan to feel inadequate. The world is filled and her cup literally runneth over with negative messages for any, and all, who will listen and entertain them! The negative voices who keep trying to convince us all, that we will never amount to anything—that we cannot possibly accomplish this or that.

Thank Heavens for the best voice in my head!

Thank Heavens for the voice of the Lord! Which I KNOW, though it’s a still small voice, can override all the other voices vying for attention in our heads and hearts, and saying, “You are my daughter and I LOVE you. Hang on. Keep trying. You’ll do better next time. I adore you! Your presence (while we are in prayer) makes me so happy, thank you for visiting with me today. Please come again tomorrow. When you get homesick, come to my Holy Temple and there I’ll give you rest and there you can remember my promises! This life is only for a little season, and then I will hold you in my arms again!”

I think Heavenly Father also wants me to show my consideration for others (which is really what good manners are, according to Mrs. McDonald) by covering my mouth when yawning in public, but so much more importantly remembering that truly, “I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me!”

Missionary Shoes

A Hampton Roads, Virginia newspaper asked a reporter to choose a "day in the life" and do a photo essay. He chose Mormon Missionaries. I loved this picture. It's what I want my spiritual shoes to look like, and it's a good reminder to me that every time I feel down, the minute I do a service for or lift another soul the sun comes out in my heart again! I've decided that it's not how many people have loved you in this life that counts—it's how many people YOU have loved! Lord, let me love like this missionary!

In the November 2000 Ensign Alexander B. Morrison said, "As you come to know 'that when ye are in the service of your fellow [men] ye are only in the service of your God' (Mosiah 2:17), you will seek to wear out your life in the service of the Master. He will wrap you about in the cloak of His redeeming love, and your life will be changed forever."

http://hamptonroads.com/2010/03/prayers-and-processions-mormon-missionaries

I Forgive You

Never Even Smile at a Crocodile

Ron took this picture when we were in Costa Rica last September while on the Tarcoles River. It was on the last day of our trip and I was tired and didn't really want to see croc's on this tour, but Ron said the river and surrounding jungle was gorgeous with lots of beautiful tropical birds. I'm sorry I missed the birds! It's kind of like this life. It's full of dangerous crocodiles, but also full of beauty and good things! We just need to choose the good! My lesson on Sunday was about Joseph, our progenitor who was a man so filled with honor that he could not disappoint or dishonor even his earthly master, but especially not his Father in Heaven! He had the good sense to run from Potiphar’s crocodile of a wife!

We've read that every year in Costa Rica someone is killed by a crocodile because they think they can outsmart or ignore all the warning signs posted everywhere. We all need to remember to turn off the TV, leave the movie, close the book---to run from evil when it blindsides us. But, we also need to heed all the warning signs along the way. We need to shun even the very appearance of evil, and not tempt the crocodiles so much as dabbling our little toe in the water!