"The full cup versus empty cup is up to how we view our circumstances. And who we determine to follow!
Our ‘lot’ or ‘little’ may be dependent upon how poor or rich we observe our allotment to be. The gratitude in our souls for the road ahead of us, and the chance to walk it according to gospel truths, may determine how rich our journey seems."
(Vickey Pahnke Taylor)
I heard this song by Martina Mcbride on my sister’s blog, and it touched my heart in a way that few ever have. Though I thought I had a handle on it, it seems that April is still my month of mourning, but this year it has been for the loss of parents I never had. I guess you never get over that need. A lot of my friends are at the point in their lives where they are losing and mourning their parents, but they have the wonderful memories and voices of affirmation in their heads of their love and they have ties that will forever bind them to their beloved parents. I only met my father on three occasions in my adult life. The first time his face was of a complete stranger to me, and yet—he wasn’t. I still carried a memory somewhere in my little two-year old heart I guess. He took my brother and I out to dinner, and that night he gave me something I’d never had before, and never had since. It was so elusive I don’t have words for it, but it seemed that he was pleased with me, and with my life, in a way that no one else can be. I’ve never thought of it this way before but could it be akin to the look in Ron’s eyes when he talks with his darling daughters?
Do you believe that we can get messages from people on the other side of the veil? I finally downloaded this song, and I cry and cry when I hear it. I keep thinking that this is a message from my dead Daddy. (That’s what his other children call him.) It feels like he feels this way about me, and wants me to believe it! “Oh Lord, help thou my unbelief!” When I listen it seems possible! I’m going to keep listening!
(And then I found this incredible butterfly picture, with hearts! Is that a coincidence?)
Thank you Daddy!
Fear is the opposite of faith. After a tiring day teaching the multitudes Christ and his disciples departed in a ship and as Jesus slept a terrible storm began to toss the ship; fearing for their lives they woke their Lord. In Mark 4:39-40 we read, “And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm . And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?”
Too many times I find myself caught in the grip of fear and almost always it is like this acronym: false evidence appearing real. As I pondered this today I was reminded of Jacob’s words in the Book of Mormon. “Behold, my brethren, he that prophesieth, let him prophesy to the understanding of men; for the spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be. . .” (Jacob 4:13)
Things as they really are! Satan constantly presents to my mind, and everyone else who will listen, false evidence which he can make to appear very real indeed!
I found comfort today in Isaiah 61:1-4 as he prophesied of Christ with these marvelous verses: "The spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified. And they shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations.
As I read of the fulfillment of Isaiah's words in Luke 4:16-21 the spirit testified to me again that Jesus Christ lives! He did fulfill His mission! He IS the Christ! He has, again and again, bound up my broken heart—He has comforted me when I mourn, He has given me beauty (my Ron and beautiful children) for ashes (of not having parents!) He has given me joy for mourning, (when I miss my Robert) the garment of praise (when I had no earthly mother or father to tell me that I am adored or loved) for the spirit of heaviness. He has testified to me that I have been planted by the Lord where I am in this life! (It's not very clear why, but I TRUST that someday I will know!) And, He has helped me to build up the old wastes, (in my heart) and raise up the former desolations in my soul! And because I have taught the gospel to my children it is my prayer that the desolations of many generations will be repaired!
I know that God knows my heart and is merciful to those that love Him, and I love Him! And, I know the way to replace fear with faith is to always remember that “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me!” (Philippians 4:13)
As I watched someone in church today let out a big YAWN (without covering their mouth) which of course, is contagious, I couldn’t stifle my yawn—but I DID cover my mouth! I covered my mouth because whenever I yawn, I hear my high school dance teacher Virginia McDonald’s voice, “Always cover your mouth when yawning in public!” She taught her students much, much more than dance. She also taught us etiquette and poise. I was so scared of that woman, but I will never forget some of the things she taught us—she had a great influence on my life.
“Don’t speak with your mouth full. Don’t cross your legs when sitting in front of people. Stand with your shoulders straight. When in doubt follow the lead of your host or hostess. Take a gift when invited to dinner. Don’t interrupt others while having a conversation. Always say thank you, and be grateful for what you do have and don’t waste time on what you don’t, as well as many, many others!”
It made me think of all the other voices I hear in my head.
I read the book “Dave at Night” this week, by Gail Carson Levine who is the author of “Ella Enchanted.” My daughter recommended it, but warned me I would need a box of Kleenex. I actually needed two, because it’s the story of an orphan, and for me “Dave” was my father, who really did grow up in an orphanage. Orphan stories always have a common theme running through them—nobody wants them, and they are always told how worthless they are and that they will never amount to anything. Boy, do I relate. I was raised by a grandmother who was orphaned by the time she was seven. She grew up as a “poor relation” and I’m certain she was fed all those lines—which she then passed on to me! I’m amazed at how often those old negative voices still try to haunt me, but we don’t have to be an orphan to feel inadequate. The world is filled and her cup literally runneth over with negative messages for any, and all, who will listen and entertain them! The negative voices who keep trying to convince us all, that we will never amount to anything—that we cannot possibly accomplish this or that.
Thank Heavens for the best voice in my head!
Thank Heavens for the voice of the Lord! Which I KNOW, though it’s a still small voice, can override all the other voices vying for attention in our heads and hearts, and saying, “You are my daughter and I LOVE you. Hang on. Keep trying. You’ll do better next time. I adore you! Your presence (while we are in prayer) makes me so happy, thank you for visiting with me today. Please come again tomorrow. When you get homesick, come to my Holy Temple and there I’ll give you rest and there you can remember my promises! This life is only for a little season, and then I will hold you in my arms again!”
I think Heavenly Father also wants me to show my consideration for others (which is really what good manners are, according to Mrs. McDonald) by covering my mouth when yawning in public, but so much more importantly remembering that truly, “I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me!”
1 Ne. 19: 11 "For thus spake the prophet: The Lord God surely shall visit all the house of Israel at that day, some with his voice, because of their righteousness, unto their great joy and salvation, and others with the thunderings and the lightnings of his power, by tempest, by fire, and by smoke, and vapor of darkness, and by the opening of the earth, and by mountains which shall be carried up." 
D&C 88:87-92 "For not many days hence and the earth shall tremble and reel to and fro as a drunken man; and the sun shall hide his face, and shall refuse to give light; and the moon shall be bathed in blood; and the stars shall become exceedingly angry, and shall cast themselves down as a fig that falleth from off a fig-tree. And after your testimony cometh wrath and indignation upon the people. For after your testimony cometh the testimony of earthquakes, that shall cause groanings in the midst of her, and men shall fall upon the ground and shall not be able to stand.
