The Greatest Joy of My Life

Out of respect for their privacy I try not to post much about my children, but I wanted it to be known that the greatest privilege of my life has been to be a mother and now a grandmother! I have the most beautiful grandchildren and wonderful children whom I live for and love with all of my heart! I would give my life for each and everyone of them. I am blessed!

Having Faith In The Coming Days

I just read an article by G.G. Vandagriff, in Meridian Magazine this morning that certainly caught my attention. She wrote:

"In a recent talk broadcast to the stakes in Utah Valley, President Boyd K. Packer and Elder Jeffrey R. Holland had a special message for us. Elder Holland started by talking of the faith of the pioneers to do whatever they were asked. In a stirring narrative of the pioneers who dug out a pathway through the sheer rock passageway in south central Utah in order to fulfill their mission to colonize a particular area, he gave us an example of what he called "rock-ribbed" faith. "When you're called to go, you go."

Elder Holland pleaded with us to nurture our physical and spiritual strength for the trials ahead. "Search your soul and search the heavens," he said. "Remember that strong family ties are the strongest resource of the church." In conclusion, he reminded us that though the world was steeped in wickedness, the forces of righteousness will always prevail. In order to stay within the safety provided by those forces, we need to be willing to conform our will to that of the Father, just as the pioneers did.

When President Packer began to speak, he startled me to the soles of my feet by saying, "From now on it's going to be rougher than the pioneers had it." Though he and Elder Holland had not planned it, their talks built on each other, proving to me that they were inspired by the Spirit to give us the same message. "Easy times are in the past," he said. "Humbly confess to the Lord that you will do things His way. The days of the Hole in the Rock were easy times compared to what faces you."

These were very sobering talks, completely unlike a normal Stake Conference. The message that things are only going to get worse is not one you usually hear from the Brethren."

Wow! It got my attention!

Stacks of Doilies

I was driving by a cemetery today while a funeral was taking place. The tent. The friends and family. All dressed in black, milling around, and I felt sad to see them. Then I saw the pallbearers carrying the casket toward them. The wave of pain hit me harder than it has in a very long time!

I had to come home and crochet furiously. That is how I got through the grief of Robert, and the pain of open-heart surgery for years. It's ridiculous, the stacks of doilies I have.

Darla Isackson

Almost a year ago I read an article in Meridian Magazine by Darla Isackson, in which she mentioned that she had lost her son to suicide. I have often read articles by Darla and I am always moved buy her depth of love for the Lord, her desire to improve her life, and her deep desire to share her knowledge with the rest of us. This article moved me to email her and thank her.

She graciously wrote back, and we began an extensive correspondence that blossomed into a great friendship. Darla expressed her promptings to write a book about her experiences since the death of her son, and she began sending chapters for my input and impressions. Her words of wisdom and comfort have touched and helped me more than I can say during my own ongoing process of grief since my son's death eleven years ago.

Darla has also been so kind about my blog. She continues to tell me it's beautiful and that I am a good writer. (She even ordered my out of print book, "Joy Outweighs The Sorrow" from Amazon and told me how much she enjoyed it.) I haven't even been able to think of myself as a writer for the last decade. It stunned me in fact when Darla said, "you are a writer, and writer's need to write." I didn't write anything, except emails to my children, for eight years after Robert's death.

I must say that in the beginning of our correspondence I was at first intimidated, then amazed, and then gratified by her encouragement, since "Darla has been on the Continuing Education speaker's circuit for BYU. . . In 1988 she pioneered the book division for Covenant Communications and was their Managing Editor for four years. She later served as Managing Editor for Aspen Books. Darla has edited well over two hundred uplifting books in her interesting career--shepherding them successfully from manuscript to bookstore shelves. She has presented at writer’s workshops in three states. Since 1998 she has free-lanced at home, editing and ghost-writing many books and caring for her elderly mother until she passed away. She has written a bi-monthly column for Meridian Magazine online since 2002." (Quoted from her website)

Two weeks ago Darla invited myself and three other women, who also helped with feedback on her book, to her home for lunch where she presented us each with a copy of her book. She included comments from each of us on the back cover of her book, and quoted us in various places in the book. (What an honor!) I found her to be just as warm and loving as she is while expressing her testimony in all of her writings. She has become a "bosom friend" to quote Anne of Green Gables!

Please check out Darla's website, where you may order this wonderful book if you know of someone that could use the wisdom and comfort she gives to those who are faced with this terrible tragedy in their life.

He Does Pour Out His Spirit if We Have Eyes to See!

Last week something came up that had me thinking about Debbie Garcia. I served with her in the Primary Presidency way back when I only had two tiny babies and we were living in San Diego, California in the 70's. It was my first church service in a presidency. She was amazing. When the Bishop called me he said that she was a very spiritual person, and that he trusted her completely. He said he would give her ANYONE she ever asked him for, to serve in the primary, because he knew she would know the Lords will in the matter first. He said that if she asked for the Stake Relief Society President to be Sunbeam Teacher he would request it from the Stake.

While we only lived in that ward for about a year, as a presidency, we had the opportunity to call several new teachers. The Bishop told me I would have an extraordinary experience working with her and he was right! We would go over the list of ward members and come up with a few names, then she sent us home to pray about them. If we didn't ALL have the same name, she would send us home again to pray. Not until we ALL felt right about it would we ask for that person, and the Bishop would always approve it because of his confidence in Sister Garcia. When Debbie prayed I would often peek, just to see if I could see the Lord standing in the room. The next time I served in a Presidency was such a letdown, I thought this was just standard operating procedure for every organization in the church. Don't get me wrong, I loved the women I served with, but I could never help them understand what it had been like with Sister Garcia. It's sad that through the years, I have never had quite the same united, sacred experience while working with others in a calling.

The children adored her. It was back in the days (you know when we walked ten miles to school in terrible blizzards :) and when we had primary during the week. I have never experienced reverence like she generated, before or since. You could hear a pin drop in our opening exercises. She taught the children that Jesus would be with them if He could feel their love by their reverence. He was! That chapel had a holy feeling that I've only experienced since in the temple! The children loved her so much they wanted to be near her or just touch her. In the foyer she would greet them and I can still see her cup their little faces in her hands, and see the love shining in her eyes and in theirs, because she truly had "His image" in her countenance! When I remember this I always think it had to be very much like it was when the Lord greeted each child of the Nephites!

Later when I read of how the twelve apostles conduct their business, I was amazed because I truly had experienced the same thing in an ordinary ward primary! It reminds me of this scripture:

Numbers 11:29 "And Moses said unto him, Enviest thou for my sake? would God that all the Lord's people were prophets, and that the Lord would put his spirit upon them!"

And, we are living in a day when we are witnessing this prophecy:

Joel 2:28, 29 "And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions. And also upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit!"

In other words even the lowly, those who do not hold high position, can receive the spirit in greater abundance than we ask for and expect to receive! As I remembered my experiences with Debbie Garcia, I thought about my own current calling. I'm one of three gospel doctrine teachers for the adults in our ward, and I do pray about my calling, but this week, because of Sister Garcia's example I prayed more earnestly. I had intended to have a class member review the story of Elijah passing his mantle on to Elisha to be the next prophet. I tried to think of people who haven't had as much opportunity to participate, but didn't feel right about any of them when suddenly our new Bishop's name popped into my head. Of course, he has just received the new mantle of Bishop. I felt the spirit of confirmation wash over me so completely. (I must admit to feeling surprised that it could come so strongly over something so simple.) So I immediately called him on the phone and got his answering machine. I left the message but didn't hear back from him. I tried his number several more times with the same result. Then I became worried that he was still out of town, so I asked my sweet husband to review the material and be prepared to give it. I worried about the experience I'd just had, I questioned my ability to receive inspiration, but hoped for the best.

Then on Sunday the Bishop was there and willingly accepted my invitation and shared the story, his testimony and feelings, and then his testimony and witness of watching President Hinckley (who is his uncle) personally as a man, and then with the mantle of prophet! It was so powerful! It was wonderful! It was a witness to little ole' obscure me, that God does hear and care about even the smallest details of our lives and of our callings. I knew this before, but what a wonderful reminder! And, what a wonderful reminder that we all really do need to reach higher, and ask for and expect greater direction and power in every aspect of our lives and callings!

2 Kings 6:16-17 "And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them. And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And and the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw; and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha."

Lord let me have eyes to see, ears to hear, and use my mouth and heart more earnestly to ASK!

When A Migraine Is Good News!

I feel as though I was given my life back. Last week after another in a bazillion episodes of TIA symptoms Ron put his foot down and took me to the emergency room at University Hospital. They kept me over night for observation and tests, and determined that I was having an aberrant form of silent migraine (without the pain) which totally mimics stroke symptoms. They have put me on an anti-seizure medication which should stop the cycle.

I've been on the medication about a week and I have to say that I feel good! My mind is so clear, almost like someone who gets glasses for the first time and realizes that a leaf on a tree has veins in it. My biggest problem right now is deciding what to do with the rest of my life! I know I've spent the last decade (literally) waiting for a big stroke to kill me. When the symptoms happened they were really frightening!

Migraines sound so manageable compared to a stroke. I'm realizing (though no one can be certain when their time on earth is up) that I can probably see my grandchildren grow, go on a mission with my husband, and though I'd never want to be a burden, I may even be a really old lady for my kids to take care of!

Good Memories!

We had a swimming pool in our backyard for 17 years. A lot of good memories were made there and it was sad to take it down, but no one used it much, it needed a new liner and Ron and I are not getting any younger. So sadly it was time, but it feels like we said goodbye to a really good friend that we will never see again, one who has been so much a part of our lives!

Casyn Joseph

Casyn was one week old yesterday! I can't wait to hold him and my darling Aubrie, who is a proud big sister! I'm so proud of my Julie and her good husband Brent! They sure make beautiful babies, and are such wonderful parents! Lucky kids!

New Baby

Little Casyn Joseph was born this morning. Julie and baby are fine now but had a really rough twenty hour labor. We nearly lost both Julie and the baby, but through a priesthood blessing they are both well and healthy! I'll post pictures as soon as I get some, but for now that little family is pretty worn out. Aubrie is in love with her new little baby brother! I can't wait to see pics. I'm just so sad that I am not back there taking care of them! We decided that I cannot fly alone and it breaks my heart. Ron and I will go back for his blessing in August. Oh my arms and heart ache to hold him and take care of my Jules!

Lost Generation

I know it's been awhile since I've posted---what can I say, it's summer, and I've got dirt in my fingernails!!!!!! But, my flowers are blooming. (I've also had some more health challenges, but life goes on---especially in my garden!)

My friend emailed this video and it is amazing.

A palindrome reads the same backwards as forward.

This video reads the exact opposite backwards as forward.

Not only does it read the opposite, the meaning is the exact opposite.

This is only a 1 minute, 44 second video and it is brilliant!

Make sure you read as well as listen...forward and backward.

This is a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20-year old.

The contest was titled "u @ 50" by AARP. This video won second place.

When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke

into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so brilliant.

Take a minute and watch it.