Amazing Two Months-Talking to Susan

We have been so busy, and I am so tired at the end of the day that I simply couldn't write, but I have been feeling the urge, so I'm going to try to do better.

It has been an amazing two months. I'm starting to call my husband "Elder Holt" but even more amazing we are both now talking daily to Susan. We spend a lot of time with her. She is very polite and has a pleasant enough voice, but too often we simply get frustrated with her. So we unplug her,  and put her away in the glove compartment of our car, because she can't find another address on the country roads we travel! More often than not though, we have to apologize to her, take her out, and plug her back in to get us home, because we are hopelessly lost with NO MOUNTAINS for directions here in Texas. We tried out the other voices on our GPS but Richard and Bonnie were too annoying so we hope Susan sticks with us.

Seriously, we have put a lot of miles on our little red Toyota searching for lost sheep. Some days it is discouraging like last Thursday when we put 99.6 miles on the car and only talked with two people who did not invite us in and were not interested in coming back to church. But, we have had so many wonderful experiences it more than makes up for it! I have a new favorite scripture:

 D&C 84:88 "And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."

I testify that this scripture passage is literal! We have felt the spirit of the Lord so much in these last two months and it is so incredible! Every day, even on the days when it is discouraging, I feel our service is such an incredible honor and privilege! We have met some awesome people, most Texans are so kind and welcoming. I have a boatload of stories and I hope to find the energy to share them! Pray for us as we do for you. Love and miss you all!

Life is Fleeting

I was just putting on a pair of earrings my husband gave me about thirty years ago! I still have them, love them, they endure and haven't changed at all. It strikes me as strange that I can go to a museium and see clothing and other objects, some in perfect condition worn by famous people hundreds of years ago, and yet the fragile mortals who enjoyed them have long gone!

It reminds me of the scripture:

Jacob 7:26

26 And it came to pass that I, Jacob, began to be old; and the record of this people being kept on the other plates of Nephi, wherefore, I conclude this record, declaring that I have written according to the best of my knowledge, by saying that the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream, . . .

So it is with me. My life is passing like a dream. But when I was young, I thought surely all the new and exciting adventures would be long past by my age, and yet, here we are embarking on a very new, scary, and exciting adventure again! Texas we will soon meet!

Ya'll take care!

Mission Call

Well ya'll, we have received our mission call to the Texas Fort Worth Mission! We leave for the MTC on April 1st and will serve as Member Leader Support missionaries for 18 months. We couldn't be more excited and we realize the honor and responsibility we have to represent the Lord! I pray we can do some little good!

Born Again

I was reviewing some of my old files and ran across this one from last year while I was still teaching Gospel Doctrine in my old ward in Sandy. (I am especially missing my dear Sandy friends this morning!)

My Sunday School lesson was on being "Born Again" or born of the spirit. To be born again we must become like Christ—a pretty tall order! It is something impossible for the natural man to do alone. To be born again—to have "no more desire to do evil, but to do good continually!" (Mosiah 5:2) Wow! Bruce R. McConkie taught that to be born again is a process. Like any other process we "become" line upon line, little by little. How grateful I am to have the gospel, to have the privilege of attending church each week which feeds my desire to do good continually, and reminds me that when I don't do as well I want to and know I should, that I CAN repent!

What a wonderful reminder this is for me, and for all of us to re-examine our lives and answer the question posed to us by a prophet of God in the Book of Mormon: "Alma 5:14 And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?"

As I have been pondering "His Image" I read an article in Meridian Magazine today (last year) that is a beautiful example of what is NOT Christ's image.

From Meridian Magazine 1/28/11

Friday Minute: Hypocrisy

(Public face, private pain)

By Wm J. Monahan

"The energy it takes to maintain a public facade in order to hide a private reality is exhausting. . . Public facades are not limited to behavior, but also include hypocritical attitudes.

Maintaining a sweet attitude at church while being a sour puss at home leads to spiritual schizophrenia. Such a dual face is unhealthy. It is compartmentalization.

In the gospel of Jesus Christ, disciples cannot afford to compartmentalize. They must not have one face at the office and another at church. They must not justify bad attitudes as a boss that would be unacceptable as a parent or spouse.

When our public persona matches our private character, our smile is genuine and our attitude consistent.

The cure for hypocrisy is straightforward: any power or influence must be maintained “by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:42). Instructively, the Lord’s formula is non-hypocritical by definition, as in “love unfeigned.” (end of quote)

To have His image is to be SINCERE! It is to bring every part of ourselves, every public part—every private part—of ourselves into alignment with the spirit! My daughter-in-law gave me a plaque a few years ago that reads:

CHRIST

The center of our home

A guest at every meal

A silent listener at every conversation

It has been a wonderful reminder that if we could all live our lives so that we could share with the Savior every conversation we have, every book we read, every movie we watch, every song we listen to and still feel comfortable in His presence—isn't that wanting to do good continually? Little by little, with lots of prayer and practice, I hope my eyes can shine a little brighter each day with His love! What an example we have in our Lord and Savior!

You Can't Get There From Here

My daughter lived in Maine and she warned me if I stopped for driving directions while visiting, this is what I would most likely hear: "You can't get there from here." (That's because the roads were originally cow or Indian paths) It's a phrase you hear a lot in New England because they joke about it and apply it to everyday life. It has application in this story I love:

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

I love this story because it has so many applications in overcoming adversity, but it also has a practical application for life in general. When I hear people say, "You can't get there from here" I think well, it just means you can't do it THAT way.

A dear friend once told me that I could take $10 and make it look like $100. That's because I've been a donkey down a well so many times. I've also been told I'm creative, innovative, tenacious, determined, stubborn, and on occasion I've even been told I'm like this determined animal, when a matador waves that red flag at him!

"Trouble With The Curve"

We went to a movie Friday night. Ron was excited to see the baseball movie "Trouble With The Curve" starring Clint Eastwood. He was ready for an action flick that would "make his day." The movie was about baseball, but more than that it was about a young woman's relationship with her aging father.

I listened quietly while he voiced his disappointment at the crass language, and how slow the movie was, but he was surprised and taken aback by my reaction. I was mad. Really mad. I haven't felt that mad for a LONG time. Like Ron, I wanted action, but not pretend action. I REALLY wanted to punch someone. Specifically MY parents. You see I AM "Mickey" the daughter played by Amy Adams.

Mickey felt abandoned by her father Gus (Clint Eastwood) who sent her away at the age of six to live with an uncle she barely knew after her mother died. Then later he sent her to a boarding school, when all she ever wanted was to be with him, and to please him. What really made my blood boil was the fact that Mickey's father would NOT talk to her. No explanation—no reason—he just wouldn't talk.

To be abandoned is a terrible thing. It takes away a HUGH piece of who you are, not just as a child, but for the rest of your life. The worst thing is the feeling of not being loved. How do you ever trust, how do you ever really know you are loved, when the people who gave you birth just throw you away seemingly without a look back. Yeah, that's me.

The movie had a sweet ending. Gus finally opened up and let Mickey in—let her understand WHY! 

I met my father on only three occasions in my adult life before he died, and the last time he actually came to my home.  When I asked why, he freely explained some things—gave me a chance to see his perspective—to understand and begin to forgive. When I hit forty, during my mid-life crisis, I called my mother asking for the same thing from her. I just wanted to know what happened. I needed to understand WHY? She called me a liar and hung up the phone. I sank to the floor shaking and crying. From that moment I quit trying to have a relationship. In my heart I wanted—I NEEDED her to come to me, to call back—to talk to me! She never did. I learned to live with the fact that my parents truly didn't love me. 

If Ron was stunned at my reaction to this movie, I was even more so, because I truly believed that I had forgiven them. I went to bed Friday night very troubled.

Then I had a dream.

Oh, how I wish I'd had a pencil and paper on my nightstand like Elder Scott has counciled us so many times. I didn't, and I was too sleepy to go find one so I don't remember details, but I KNOW I felt the sweet, sweet spirit fill my heart. I awoke with peace, a feeling of being loved, and a phrase from Isaiah running in my head:

Isaiah 49:15  Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.

 16 Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands . . .

Now, as I write, I realize that my anger is a stage of grief. I know about grief! I haven't stopped grieving over the loss of my parents love, but I have forgiven them! In spite of it all, I have had a great life. I have a wonderful husband, wonderful children, and I have ALWAYS had the Lord's love.

He NEVER forgot me! And that is enough!

Wonderful Wardles

All this busy day, while I have been shopping for Webelos craft supplies, (yes Ron and I were called as Webelos leaders in our new ward), I have been thinking of the wonderful Wardles. Darla and Robert have been our dear friends for thirty years, and all through those years we and three of our children have remained the best of friends, even though we only lived next door to them for six of those years.

We were privileged and blessed to live in their basement apartment this summer while our home was being built. We felt surrounded by complete safety and love! I can't imagine heaven will be any different than being surrounded by and associating with, such wonderful friends!

Thank you and God Bless you dear friends!

Mortality & Tile

We are nearly finished with the tiling in our new home! Yay! This is a picture of our dry fitting on the floor of our wonderful friends the Wardles we are staying with. They are so incredibly kind to us. We are so blessed!

 

In Tibet, ancient ruins of temples were discovered with walls of beautiful, colorful murals, which had deliberate mistakes or imperfections painted into the designs to signify the perfection of God and the mortality of man. 

 

Well, our tile has those—though not intentional. I might show an after picture, if I ever have time to take one. Anyway, now whenever I look at my tile I will think of the Tibetians, and rejoice in the perfection of my Lord, while recognizing my mortality and need for His atonement! (Man I wanted this tile to be PERFECT!)

 

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/tibet/painting.html

New Home Update

Hannah Marie

We have a new granddaughter! Hannah Marie was born July 8, 2012. She weighed only 6 lb. 2 oz. and is a beautiful little one. Hannah's mother, my beautiful wonderful daughter, had gestational diabetes and so little Hannah Marie had some trouble regulating her blood sugar. She spent her time in the hospital in the NICU but came home with her mother on Thursday. They are doing well! Isn't she beautiful!