THE MAN IN THE ARENA

I love this quote from Theodore Roosevelt. Ron uses this often to motivate himself and others. For the first time in twelve years, I want to DO something! It is spring again and I am strangely okay. I feel more peace about my son's state of being on the other side, and I feel this incredible sense that some unseen hand is lifting me, helping me, motivating me! I'm not exactly certain why yet, but for the first time in forever, I can read this quote and FEEL again! In the arena . . . hummm. It brings to mind that dream again, of Ron and I being outfitted with armor. For what arena?

Excerpt from the speech "Citizenship In A Republic", delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910 by Theodore Roosevelt.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Broomsticks Are For Cleaning House

Maybe you've seen this one floating around on facebook: "Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings we simply continue to fly---on a broomstick." (Author unknown)

I wish I'd never ridden on one, but I daresay everyone has. We all have bad days when we're hungry, tired, stressed, sad, etc. and then someone comes along and clips our wings. They may do it intentionally, but I think most of the time we don't intend to do that to each other; but then, in our righteous indignation and pride, we mount that broom. The scriptures teach us that "pride" is the thing that gives lift to our broom. The air gets thinner up there and it's easier to look down on others and blame everyone else for our misery. While we may not really believe that misery loves company, somehow we perceive it's easier to breath up there, when we share the pain!

The world defines a cronically proud person as a narssist, or someone who can't climb off their broom, because of their own insecurities and real or perceived pain and injustice! They have little tolerance or compassion for others, simply because they only see their own problems and pain. While neurotics on the other hand, after their pride flairs up, land their brooms way too hard! They are so hard on themselves that they conclude they must somehow deserve the wing clips. Why else would someone do this to them? So then they beat themselves up with their broken wings, trying to figure out what they did wrong.

I'm so grateful (there's that word again!) for the gospel of Jesus Christ that teaches us how to really fly, how to mend our broken hearts through the atonement, and how to give lift to each others wings! I want to be like the healthiest people, who are slow to take offense, quick to forgive those who hurt them, and don't spend much time on a broom, but instead use it to help their neighbor and to clean their own house with!

Grateful

That old question--is the glass half-empty or half-full? This year I want to see ALL the fullness in this beautiful world our Father in Heaven has provided. I want to see all the blessings in all the people in my life. I think it was Abraham Lincoln who said that if you look for the bad in someone you will surely find it. I think we find exactly what we look for in everything.

I remember the book "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Ten Boom. What a powerful book, I need to read it again. Her sister found blessings even in the fleas that infested their holocaust prison. She realized, and pointed it out to her sister and other prisoners, that the fleas protected the precious bible they had hidden from the guards. For her the glass was always overflowing with gratitude, and she was able to pass on faith and hope to all around her, even in the worst possible condiditons. This year I want to be like Corrie Ten Boom's sister Betsy!

New Year

It's a new year, and I'm going to make it a good one! I might even blog again, and hey---groundhog day is coming soon! Spring!!!!! Nothing like a crocus to make me smile!

When I Drive Up To The Pearly Gates

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing my neighbor's lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with the children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

~Marjorie Pay Hinckley ~

I don't doubt that she did just that! That's exactly what I want to do.

The Third Floor

As I was getting on the elevator on the first floor this morning at the temple, I shared the ride with one of our older temple workers, a man in his mid to late eighties, who graciously ushered me on first and then asked if I was going up or down. I said I was going up and he said that he was going down, but that he felt he was almost ready to go to the third floor.

I looked at him thinking he was a little confused, and I said, "But the second floor is as high as our temple goes." He lifted his stooped shoulders a little higher and grinned up at me with his beautiful wrinkled face and chuckled, "Well, I'm aiming for much higher, but I suppose I'll have to start on the third floor!"

I laughed with him as I got his joke, and I've thought about his comment most of today. This wonderful righteous man really is ready to go "to the third floor" anytime the Lord calls him home! I thought about "going home" today as I helped with the funeral luncheon for my neighbor's mother who peacefully slipped away Tuesday night. She was a darling little woman with ahlziemer's, who my neighbor and dear friend lovingly brought to her home, and tenderly cared for with such love these last few years.

Debbie posted this on her facebook page: "My mom woke up yesterday evening and we had a delightful time talking to her about all the people she was seeing who had come to "take her home.". She didn't want to be in her jammies with all of them here so we got her all dressed and combed her hair, etc."

Another time when the doorbell rang, her Mom said, "Oh good, maybe they are here to take me home," and she wanted Debbie to help her pack her bags. I thought about Sister Pierce today and smiled to think she wasn't just put on an elevator, but was lovingly escorted to the "third floor" by so many people that love her!

"And it shall come to pass that those that die in me shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them." D&C 42:46

Come What May And Love It

Elder Wirthlin passed away today. What a wonderful man. I used his talk from conference last month for my visiting teaching message. I love his message because it is something I am only beginning to understand and barely trying to implement in my life. Ron can handle adversity like this. So can Becky. At Becky's wedding breakfast her father paid her the highest compliment when he said to her new husband, "Zak, I want you to know that when things go wrong (and they surely will) I can think of no one I would rather be with than Becky!" He then went on to tell the story of their camping trip on the top of a mountain. They had back-packed in and set up camp barely before it began to rain. And then all night long it rained and it was cold and the water seeped in. Finally about 4:00 a.m. their tent collapsed with the weight of sleet and snow. It was pitch black outside and they could do nothing but wait until dawn to pack up and hike out. So, the two of them laughed and told stories as their teeth chattered and they continued to get wet. Instead of complaining and gripping Becky eased the load. Ron felt bad enough that his daughter was in this miserable situation. I love that she can do that!

I'm trying so hard to be more like Ron and Becky! (He taught her how) what an example they are to me. I'm grateful that he has put up with me all these years when I have not responded as well. In my family growing up everyone's glass was always half empty and I saw Elder Wirthlin's comments literally played out on a daily basis growing up. He said:

"Have you ever seen an angry driver who, when someone else makes a mistake, reacts as though that person has insulted his honor, his family, his dog, and his ancestors all the way back to Adam? Or have you had an encounter with an overhanging cupboard door left open at the wrong place and the wrong time which has been cursed, condemned, and avenged by a sore-headed victim?

There is an antidote for times such as these: learn to laugh."

I have observed both Ron and Becky say, "Well, you can't change it anyway, might as well make the best of it!"

I think I am able to understand this whole concept better, because I am learning to be grateful! Several years after Robert died my Relief Society President challenged me to count my blessings! She wouldn't leave me alone until I promised her that I would count five blessings a day. She was so ernest and kind I did it for her and it was pretty easy for about a week. But, the only rule was I could not count the same blessing twice, so it forced me to become more and more specific. I did it for a few months and I could NOT believe how it changed my life. I love the hymn "Count Your Blessings"! It's almost my favorite hymn. It constantly surprises me "What The Lord has done!" And, done, and done, and done, and done! I'd start listing all my blessings but NO ONE has time to read them all!

Thanks Elder Wirthlin for the wonderful Thanksgiving message! And thanks, Ron and Becky for living it!

Hey!!! Hoorah!!! I think I finally did it! I had a good attitude on Thanksgiving day didn't I? I thought the whole thing was pretty funny even while it was happening---maybe even funnier than Ron did. Of course food is pretty important to him, and I didn't really care that much because I didn't have to cook, so I don't know how much it counts, but still---I laughed! I LAUGHED when the day went wrong!

Now if I can only laugh next time . . .

Charity NEVER Faileth

Tonight I was at Walmart at 8:00 p.m. I was tired. I looked around and EVERYONE seemed tired. The clerk was a young man who looked tired too. I handed him a clothing item first and asked him not to lay it down on the wet and dirty counter. He glared at me and literally snatched the item from my hands. Then he stomped off to get some towels to wipe the counter. Then, after glaring at me again he angrily called someone to bring him cleaner and more towels. I tried to explain that he only needed to keep my clothing off the wet counter and it would be okay.

He just glared at me again, and I said in an impatient voice. "Hey, I didn't do anything."

He just continued on with my order completely ignoring me. I felt annoyed and embarassed and wondered what had happened to friendly customer service, even civility, and I considered finding a manager to complain about this rude angry clerk.

Then for no reason I just smiled at him and said, "Hey, just smile! I'm old enough to have learned that no matter how bad today seems, things ALWAYS get better. Now, can you please just give me a smile?"

And, he couldn't help himself. He did. Then, he walked around the counter, shook my hand and thanked me saying, "You are very kind" and thanked me again as he pumped my hand.

My surprised smile spread to my eyes this time and I replied, "Now that's better. You have a great night and a wonderful day tomorrow!" I left him chuckling and I felt great. I didn't feel tired. My steps were light as I walked to my car passing on his smile, to all the tired, cranky people on my way out.

Charity NEVER does fail! I hope I remember to try this more often!